The need for another

When words and spontaneous thoughts can't quite express--

I feel like so many students are afraid of a relationship, because there isn't actually the time. With 16 credits of classes, exams and papers to think about, and a plethora of extracurriculars and Boston events demanding time, I often find myself working 7:30-late night. I look back on the blur and just wanting some to take some time off from people (every night from 12-1 is music or Zen or big thinking hour). Last semester, the burnout took time out of classes and friends... it's fucking hard to stay focused and on top of things as it is! Give me some time to think and reassess my priorities, to be alone in the mob around me and I'll stay sane.

But what if, instead of two lives inextricably connected, a college relationship could be two people in sync running parallel? To be self-dependent and involved in your own life, but there's someone there at night to remind you on how fucking awesome the world is! From my experiences with it, I feel like most hopelessness, depression, and defeat are from lack of feedback and lack of perspective. There's always an alternative, let her either enlighten me or hold me close. There's always a relaxed place to be in the mind underneath the turmoil, let her take me there. There's always meaning to it-- but can only be through others.

Some people see getting involved as filling a hole. Find another half-content person and we can make out and hold hands and feel better about ourselves. Overlook the flaws, give up some part of ourselves, and not look at other people any more. Couples are formed, stressed, and broken this way. Is it possible that two complete personalities can complement each other? Is it possible to not have power imbalance and stressful points by being two mutualyl reaffirming adults? I don't know, heh. I like to think so, or would like to try my hand until I see what it's about.

There's something beautiful there, I know it. The bible tells me so (if I have some time later I'll dig out some quotes, some Jesus for your souls). My faith tells me so. Society tells me so. Male, female, family. Give and take, subject/object, learning from one another, to know and accept.

Maybe. Anyway, it's something I've been thinking a lot about recently. Maybe you will now too.

-Eddie